Dropping the Struggle

We’ve all heard the phrase “drop the struggle”, but what does it mean and how do we do it?

Our natural instinct is to try to control everything that happens in our lives.  Our brain is only looking to help us survive and that is its natural behaviour.  However, when things don’t go to plan, we resist, we fight against whatever life is presenting us with and we create stress, anxiety and other emotions that can feel very heavy in our heart.  Fear is a major contributor to this process, as we are not comfortable with not knowing what lies ahead in our future.  

Although it is a survival mechanism embedded in our brains, it only makes things worse for us, as the more we fear, the more anxiety we experience, the more stress we create and it becomes a vicious cycle that grows like a snowball unless we stop the process.

What do we do then? 

There is a grounding technique used often in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) called “Dropping Anchor”.  Just like a boat would do in the harbour as it is caught in the middle of a storm.  This technique will help us come back to the present moment and be able to observe what is going on without being dragged by the storm.  Here is a link to a video that offers a simple guide on how to apply the technique. 

As we manage to come back to the present moment, we can practice some mindfulness exercises.  We can observe our thoughts patterns and catch the story we are making up in our minds.   By doing this, we would be able to keep some distance from the story and avoid getting hooked.

Following this, we can remember that live is happening FOR us, not TO us.  Anything that is going on in our lives, is giving us exactly what we need in order to grow and expand our consciousness.  It will help us align and move in the direction of our soul’s path.  We are deeply loved and supported. And so, we might start getting in touch with a sense of Trust.

As we begin to Trust, we release the need for control and so, we become more receptive and able to listen to our inner guide, which in turn will give us directions on how to deal with our current situation.

Of course, this is not something we achieve on the first go, but the more we practice, the quicker we can get from dropping anchor to trusting and allowing for the light to come through us and guide us on what action to take and the direction we need to move towards.

A sense of peace and relief will be achieved and we will be able to drop the struggle.


Please give this method a go and let me know how you go. Leave some comments below.

Perhaps you are able to achieve contacting the present moment only at first, but this is a great start.


Looking forward to hearing from you.


Flowing like Water

Haven’t we all being marvelled when looking at a waterfall…What is it that captures our attention?

Flow like water they say… Have you ever observed what happens to the water that ends up becoming a waterfall? There is this water flowing gently on a river or creek, going about its business in a peaceful flow.  All of a sudden, something changes and it seems like the speed of the current starts to increase and what before was a gentle movement, becomes a little more agitated and frantic.  The speed keeps increasing and when it least expects it, the water is about to make a big leap.  There is no way back, it is inevitable.  It is falling.  Sometimes the fall is small, but sometimes is really big.  There is nothing to hold on to, there is just the fall.  When it makes it to the bottom, there is a big splash.  It changes everything that was before.  There is a big confusion, drops of water everywhere, separation, movement, restructure.  It takes a while before all the drops of water get back together to continue the journey, but then, there is calm again, peace.  This all happens before our eyes and we just feel almost hypnotised by the beauty, the peace this brings.

Doesn’t this sound familiar to you?  Travelling through life, doing what we are used to, following the same routines we are comfortable with, when all of a sudden something changes. It seems like everything starts changing its rhythm and we are no longer able to keep the same pace.  There is a little bit of confusion and fear.  Maybe we get a little anxious as we don’t know exactly what is coming our way.  As we see the changes approaching, a bit more fear invades our senses and we try to hold on to what we know. However, the change is inevitable. We are asked to take a big leap and there is no way back.  We have no other choice than closing our eyes and let the momentum take us where we need to go.  After the fall there is confusion.  Everything has shifted, we are no longer the same.  A big restructure has occurred and it might take a while before we are able to put our parts together to be able to continue the journey.  But once we do, there is peace again and we might be grateful that all this took place.  We are certainly in a better place.

Some of us, when seeing the changes coming, try to hold on to a rock to avoid the fall.  However, this doesn’t work.  Our fear will increase, we will become very anxious and very tired of holding on to something that doesn’t work.

Is this you at the moment?  What part of the journey are you at?  Wherever you are, simply Trust.  It will all eventually fall in place and after you allow the shift, the restructure, there is growth, there is peace.  We are no longer the same, but we are greater, we are renewed, we are stronger, more powerful.

If we were able to observe this process from the distance, as the observer, we would be marvelled at the fabulous shift that just happened before our eyes.

Just let go and flow like water! you won’t regret it!

Maria De Vivo