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Author: Maria De Vivo

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No need to rush

We were taking a walk by the beach with the kids.  We were enjoying our time, although my husband was rushing ahead of us with my eldest daughter.  The little ones were stopping every second minute to look at a shell, to check the sand or the water and a little fish swimming by.

The Island at Wellington Point, QLD, Australia

My husband stopped to look how far behind we were and asked us to “Hurry up!” At that moment, I looked around and saw the beautiful sky with fluffy clouds in funny shapes, the sea, the entire landscape and felt an amazing peace.  This state of bliss lasted a few seconds and some words came to my head: “There is no need to rush!”

The message was clear to me.  What is the need of going through life rushing from moment to moment? What is the point of taking that walk if we are not willing to spend the time to appreciate the details of the place you made such an effort to get to?  How many things are you missing out on?

Take a deep breath, pause for a second and look around you.  Take a moment to appreciate your day, your kid/s telling you about their day, the place you work at, the morning coffee.  Savour that breakfast in your mouth.  Enjoy the moment.

What is the need to rush, wanting to be somewhere else, rather than where you are right now?  Savour the present moment! You may discover wonderful things you may have been missing out and be grateful!

No need to rush!

Maria De Vivo

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Just like riding a bike!

People often belittle others’ fears, as they face situations in life that have caused some sort of pain in their past. They say something like: “It’s just like riding a bike”.

But how easy is to get back on a bike after a long time?

Today, my husband invited me to ride the bike with him. I hadn’t ridden a bike in more than 9 years.

As a child I was unstoppable. I would ride my bike up and down the road; go at fast speeds, even through narrow spaces. I was very agile and very confident about my abilities. As a young adult, I continued riding my bike often. I would ride to the gym and always felt very safe doing all sorts of tricks with my bike. I then came to Australia and as soon as my financial situation allowed it, I bought a bike. I used to ride it to and from University. I used to ride along the riverside. I was no longer very fast, but I was very confident of my skills. I even rode my bike carrying my first baby girl at the back on one of those bike childseats. Then, all of a sudden, I stopped. I never rode again. And just like that, 9 years went past.

Today, all these memories went through my mind in 5 seconds. The excitement of getting back on my bike was incredible, but then a thought came to me. Do I still know how to ride a bike? Fear took over me. Oh no! Wait! I’m not ready! I’m not sure how to ride…

My loving husband looked at me with a smile and said: “Don’t worry! We’ll practice first”. He went with me down the local road and reminded me how to change gears. He indicated the steps I had to take and encouraged me to try. I did what he indicated and started to feel calmer. After a few minutes, he said: “OK! Now let’s go to the park!” “Nooooo!”, I implored…”I’m not ready!” Again, he looked at me with kind eyes and said: “We’ll go slowly”. Once again, he encouraged me to follow. I, with a fearful heart, followed him.

I was a little clumsy, I felt uncoordinated when approaching a narrow space or bridge. My bike wobbled from side to side, but I kept going as my loving man supported me all the way. As we continued to ride, I felt a bit more confident and was able to move gears more accurately. I looked more coordinated and was able to go in a straight line. It will take a few more rides, before I acquire my old abilities. However, I am satisfied that I tried and got over the fear of not knowing what to do anymore. I also enjoyed the ride as much as I used to. Feeling the wind in my face was priceless.

The experience also reminded me that “getting back on the bike” is not as easy as others make it sound.

Sometimes, it takes a lot of courage to face those situations that have hurt us in the past. Sometimes, it might take a little more than loving encouragement to help us to get over our fears and try again.

What I can say to you is that it is worth it! If this is where you are at the moment, I know it is not easy. I know getting back on the bike is not easy, but the satisfaction of facing the fear and trying again is wonderful. It restores our self-confidence and love. It doesn’t matter if you fall again. What matters is that you keep trying and move forward.

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Mindfulness and The Four Agreements

Many years ago, on my path of self-improvement and the search for Truth, a beautiful Earth Angel put in my hands a book. This book was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Don Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican author, direct descendant from the ancient Toltecs, who has dedicated his life to share their wisdom. The Four Agreements is one of his bestselling books, where he teaches us very simple principles that can help change our lives.

Realising that we see life through the light of our own “smoky mirror”, Don Miguel Ruiz encourages us to unlearn so many agreements we have made since we were very young and instead, presents us with a very simple formula that if put into practice, can be that thing that takes us to the next level of awareness, open our consciousness and reduce our suffering.

The proposed new agreements are:

  1. Be Impeccable with your word. By this, he means to always speak kind words to and about others. He advises us to always speak the truth in a constructive way.
  2. Do not make Assumptions. If you are not sure, check. As we all see life from our own experience, we see things differently and we can’t assume or make conclusions without checking first. We sometimes take as a fact, a situation that only exists in our own mind, bringing unnecessary pain to our existence.
  3. Do not take anything personal. As said before, we all act from our own experience and from our own pain. Understanding that the way a person acts only has to do with the way they are feeling and seeing life at that moment in time and that it is not really related to us, we can free ourselves from fear of judgment and from getting offended by someone else’s story or behavior.
  4. Always do your best. And our best is not always the same. We can’t do as many things on a day we are feeling sick, as on a day that we are healthy and rested. There are days when we can run a marathon and others when we can’t get out of bed. Be compassionate with yourself and if you fail to practice the agreements one day, there is always another opportunity to try again.

This great gift given to us by Don Miguel Ruiz goes hand in hand with our Mindfulness practice. By practicing The Four Agreements we are forced to be aware of our every action and the impact it has in our own and other people’s lives. Out of the “automatic pilot”, we become more present and our actions will come from a place of love and are more balanced.

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By nearly dying, she saved my life!

A few years ago, I was going through a difficult time in my marriage.  At this point, I knew what I needed to do, but it was too scary.  I was suffering too much, but I was scared to do anything.
P1060873I was at this crossroads when one of my best friends from school suffered a stroke all of a sudden.  She went into a comma and we didn’t know if she would survive.

It all went through my head really quickly.  She had been through a lot of stress at her workplace and she tried to cope with it as much as she could.  It became too much for her and she finally decided to leave that company.  I remember her telling me how relieved she was for doing this.  A week later, she had the stroke…

She had stayed in this stressing environment for too long.  Was it too late for her now?

What a wake up call this was for me!

Life is NOW, not tomorrow!  How long was I going to postpone my life for? You are here today, tomorrow is uncertain.  If you don’t do what your heart is telling you to do now, you may never get to do it…What was I waiting for?

I realised my light was dimming.  I was slowly dying in this bad relationship…Was I going to die without having enjoyed my life?  Amongst the pain I was feeling by witnessing what my friend was going through, my fear couldn’t hold me prisoner anymore.

I knew what I had to do and this gave me the courage to go ahead despite of the fear I had as I knew all I was going to go through to be able to rescue my own life.

My friend started to wake up from her comma and I was waking up with her.  While she was working on restoring her body, I was going to rebuild my own life.

I decided to separate. It was a very difficult decision.  Like a tower that breaks in a thousand pieces after an earthquake, all the structures in my life fell apart and I fell to the ground with them.  However, I knew this was my chance to put everything back together in the right place.  It was my chance to start living the life I wanted. I got up, dusted the debris and kept going.

Despite the chaos around me, I felt deep peace.  A peace I hadn’t felt in a long time.

I asked God for strength everyday and kept going.  I started listening to my heart and followed its guidance.

It has been 3 years since my wake up call and I can report I’m finally living! I’m finally enjoying my life.  My light is shining bright and strong!

My friend’s life lesson is always in my heart and helps me live my life fully.

I’m forever grateful as by nearly dying, she saved my life!

Is there anything your heart is telling you to do and have been postponing?

Leave comments and let me know how this relates to you.

 

Ps. My friend lived on to tell us all about her experience and the learnings that came with that.  She wrote a great book: “El Gozo de Existir” (The Joy of Living).  It is written in Spanish.  If you would like to check her book out, go to amzn.to/23lEAep

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Go further Together!

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Have you ever observed a flock of birds flying in the sky?

They tend to make a V formation, which is very efficient for many reasons that can be better explained on a physics page or other sources.

The birds at the front break the wind and as they flap their wings, they create a flow that in short, makes it easier for the other birds, which literally “take a ride”. One more interesting fact is that there is no constant leader. They swap positions, so the guys at the front can rest. They all take their turn.

Think about this in the context of a family. Sometimes, the mum takes the lead, carrying and pushing everybody around. If there is balance, the father would then take over relieving the mum, so she can “take a ride” for a while. As the kids grow, they should also take part on the flying game to help the parents ease their load.

A single parent would struggle as it would be harder to find a “buddy” who can take the lead as they rest their wings. Many will keep flying, afraid of asking for help. They will fly until their wings break!

This will also apply in all other areas of our life! See, we are not meant to fly alone!

Some human birds believe it is about flying faster and higher. They believe it is a competition, not realising that we need each other and as we support one another, we are actually able to fly further together!

Others don’t want to take their turn at flapping their wings, slowing the flock down.

Should we start looking around to see if anyone needs our help, or stop being afraid of asking for support when needed?

We might just be able to fly further together and make this a better world for all to live in!

Much love to all! ????

Maria De Vivo

Please leave a comment, Do you ask for help? Are you flying together?

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Can you see how loved you are?

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On one of the darkest moments in my life, I asked for a sign I was loved.

Not much happened that day, except that all of a sudden I received strong guidance to go to a popular lookout. I was resisting at first, but the voice in my head was too insistent for me to ignore.

I took my car and drove to where I was guided to go. I didn’t know what I was looking for or what I was doing there, so I bought a hot chocolate and sat on a chair overlooking the city.

That night there was a full moon, but it was so overcasted you couldn’t see a star in the sky.

I sat there a bit confused, feeling a little crazy.

I kept staring at the horizon while drinking my hot chocolate when suddenly I started seeing a light in the distance. The light became brighter and brighter. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I realised the light I was seeing was the moon being revealed from behind the clouds. It revealed itself completely and was very bright and beautiful! It took about 5 minutes and it hid again. The sky became dark again.

Only a few vigilant people noticed the show. I could see how other people were distracted by having conversations with their friends and giving their back to the glorious view.

I can’t explain the feeling inside when I realised that this was my proof. I was deeply loved! There was no doubt! I was so excited and happy that night! Everything was going to be alright!

At the time I only saw this as the response to my desperate request. I didn’t see the analogy to our lives.

Just like the moon behind the clouds, the love of God is always there for us even if we are not able to see it clearly. If we pay attention and trust, we will be guided to where we need to go, to what we need to do. If we continue to pay attention we will be able to see the light so clear it will always illuminate our hearts!

We are deeply loved!

Maria De Vivo

Please leave your comments below.

Let me know how this relates to you.  Have you discovered how deeply loved we are? Have you not?